Match Review: Hibernians FC vs Aioli Monkeys FC

• DF Joe Poulton
• DF Nick Edwards
• DF Jamie Barnes
• ST Daniel Martin
• -- Alexander Danielson
• -- Ryan Cotterill Walsh
• -- Mark Bufton
• -- Rupert Roberts
• -- Andrew Knott
• -- Peter Talbot
• -- Colin Gray

• -- Anthony Smith
• -- Jonathan Murphy
• -- Niko Rieder

Karma for the Dickhead

Making me write this is as cruel as it gets but after throwing Boycey under the bus last week – and apparently ruining his global image – I guess I deserve it. For most of this game we were pretty good, and really should have made it to the semi final. But we were sloppy in the last ten minutes and I put in an extra time performance that had their keeper and Boycey laughing in my face, and has woken me up in cold sweats for the last three nights. It all began so well. Nick headed us in front just five minutes into the game and it was starting to feel good to be back at the PSA. What Jamie’s did a few minutes later would have earned him twat of the week in any other game. Alex made a good low save, the ball popped out to Jamie, who cushioned a header back over Alex and into the net. Andrew made sure we didn’t dwell on that for too long, giving us a half time lead by tucking away a loose ball in a bit of goal mouth scramble. The message at half time was to try not to have one of our all-too-frequent second half shockers. It can’t have started too well because Aioli got back level fairly quickly – I’ve forgotten how. We took the lead back when Nick’s miss-hit shot fell to me in loads in space in the box. Nick is a captain of impeccable integrity and deep handsomeness, which is probably great if you’re married to him but was a pain in the arse for us on Saturday. Aioli’s captain went down in our box under what I understand was very little contact, and got booked for it. He got up and chuntered away at Nick, sharing his thoughts on the incident, dropping in a bad word or two. The ref heard something he didn’t like and showed a second yellow. Harsh, but a huge result for Hibs. “No, no, ref” said Nick. “Please don’t send off a player simply for expressing his opinion”. If anyone else had said that it’s unlikely the ref would have changed his mind. Unfortunately for us, Nick is not just anyone. The yellow card was rescinded and Aioli took full advantage, equalising again not long after. Which brings us to extra time. I’m just hoping writing about it will exercise some demons and help me move on. The first horrific moment came just a few minutes in. Their centre back sliced a clearance and left me with a clear run on goal. The keeper started to rush out, then changed his mind and backed into his area. I didn’t have a clue what to do. I just kicked it straight at him. Inevitably, Aioli took advantage, quickly scoring two goals before half time. We still weren’t out of though. Some Hibs pressure early in the second half ended up with Buffy forcing a handball in their box, giving me a chance to make some amends from the spot. I didn’t. Instead I shanked the pen over the bar and into the golf course, where it still is. The Aioli keeper said what every Hib was thinking – including me, the fucking dickhead in question. MoM for the Hibs was Little Talbot, who was excellent throughout, whether playing left wing or left back. MoM for Aioli was their captain, who was difficult for us to get off the ball and we might have preferred to have off the pitch.

• Fraser Tyler GK
• Samuel Derek Christian DF
• Mitchell Slorach MD
• Harry Shaw MD
• Mark Addy ST
• Gregory Sturm --
• Benjamin Darde --
• Silvan Lehner --
• Martin Eusebi --
• Adrien Dambre --

• Shotaro Ichikawa ST
• Boujema Jelikh Kamel --

Aioli Monkeys swing into cup semis A far from convincing performance but we managed to scrape through in the end in a really entertaining game with Hibs down at PSA. Fair to say our afternoon didn’t get off to an ideal start, with a few of the lads forgetting some Saturday afternoon essentials…Greg (the balls), Ichi (his kit), Samse (his shorts) and Martin (his fitness) all on the naughty list. We took this tardiness into the game and before we’d even touched the ball we were down 1-0. A wild 20m slide tackle from Samse resulted in a free-kick just outside the box and some poor marking left the Hibs midfielder free to nod home. It was the kind of defending that would have had our (absent) Fat Controller choking on his croissant. Fortunately Hibs were in equally generous mood and before the clock hit 5 minutes we were level. Mark played in Mitch who drew a decent save from the keeper only for the Hibs CB to then nonchalantly head it in to his own net for 1-1. After that we settled down and dominated possession but it was Hibs who scored again after we failed to clear our lines from a corner. HT 2-1. Despite being behind we felt we had more goals in us and Ichi coming on gave us another attacking threat. We came out strong and it wasn’t long before Chris Wood made a typical burst through the middle and tucked one away with his left foot into the corner. Great goal from the big man to make it 2-2. That goal seemed to wake Hibs up and we went behind AGAIN shortly after, the ball dropping for Dan in the box and he made no mistake. 3-2 Hibs with 20 to play. We poured forward after that but it took a fine goal for us to equalize. Ichi with his back to goal held off the Hibs defender and curled a beauty into the bottom corner. 3-3 at the final whistle. Into extra time and sensing our superior fitness (and fear of penalty shoot-outs) we went all-out-attack. The first big chance fell to Hibs after a spectacular air-kick by Silvan put Dan through one-on-one. We feared the worst but Fraser managed to narrow the angle and pull off a great save to keep it at 3-3. In fact if anyone wants to see just how good it was, he’s shared a video of it on his Facebook page (1 like and counting). After breathing a collective sigh of relief, we continued attacking and grabbed a couple of quick calls before the 10 minute half was up. The first from Mark, squeezing one in under the keeper after being put through by Ichi. The second from the prolific Benji, turning in a cross from Mitch to make it 5-3. That should’ve been that but apparently Greg loves penalty shoot-outs in fading light so decided to give Hibs a lifeline by handling the ball in the box. Luckily the resulting penalty was blazed over the bar, making the last 5 minutes of ET much more comfortable. Thanks to Hibs for a great game that could’ve gone either way. Special mention also to the Hibs players for persuading the ref not to give Adri a red card when they were 3-2 up. Great sportsmanship, especially cosnsidering the scoreline at that stage. SCC next. Easy…