Match Review: Swiss FC vs Gaelic Lions FC

• DF Cyrill Binder
• MD Thomas Vacher
• MD Joel Terrades
• -- Joe Giani
• -- Dimitri Manser
• -- Ntoudi Mouyelo-Katoula
• --
• -- Hassen Kared
• -- Regis Stevens
• -- Jeremy Guioth
• -- Stefan Vogel

• -- Sebastien Monzel
• -- Urs Brutsch
• -- Christian Schulthess
• -- Takayasu Yamamoto

Long Day

Not much to say after this 0:5 defeat. We knew it would be tough especially coming into the game without a handful key players. All the hard & good work from last week was undone by a rather lacklustre performance, riddled with too many individual mistakes. We had a penalty on 0:3, but we couldn't convert that as well - which would have been perhaps a kick start but it just wasn't to be. Back to the drawing board - and hopefully we have a bit of luck with players returning.

• Rob Church DF
• Wilfried Lapierre DF
• Liam McGinley DF
• Sam Balls MD
• Anders Jensen --
• Neil Corrigan --
• Stephen Moran --
• John Mescall --
• Steve McMahon --
• Keith O'Leary --
• Simon Lloyd --

• Liam Parker --
• Christopher Banks --
• Conor McHugh --

The Road

Saturday marked the dawn of a new era for the Lions which saw us play our first game without Flynner, the world's greatest living man. As we got warmed up there was an eery silence, a dark post-apocalyptic atmosphere where Turf City was covered with ash and devoid of life. Realizing the Lions could not survive the season without our hero, the gaffer led the team south along empty roads towards the sea, carrying their meager possessions in their knapsacks and a supermarket cart. The gaffer is suffering from a serious cough and knows he is dying. They have a revolver, but only two rounds. The gaffer has taught the team to shoot themselves if necessary, to avoid falling into the hands of gangs of Swiss cannibals, who are hanging around as well (for the sake of the story, yeh?) Ballsy uses one of the rounds to kill a Swiss marauder who discovers them. They flee the marauder's companions, abandoning most of their possessions. Ballsy soon shoots another and has immediately surpassed his previous record of never shooting ever. They find a gaf and search it for supplies, they discover a locked cellar containing captives whom Swiss cannibal gangs have been eating limb by limb and flee. As they are near starvation, the team discover a concealed bunker filled with food, clothes, and other supplies. They stay there for several days, regaining their strength, and move on. They encounter an elderly man whom the gaffer insists they share food with but the team say no because they are mean. They find more bullets and Conor, Keitho and Loydloydolyold kill more Swiss scavangers who are really annoyed at this point and start kicking everyone. As time passes, the gaffer gets more and more ill and eventually dies. The team are forelorn and lost without his guidance and good looks. But then something amazing happens, Oli from Rangers arrives, pushing his own shopping trolley full of shite around and adopts the players from the team he covets, like Stevie, Lloydy and Rhino. He leaves the others to die but he's like that, the two-faced bastard.