Match Review: Gaelic Lions FC vs 1TM Latini FC

• DF Rob Church
• DF Wilfried Lapierre
• MD Petesy O'Brien
• -- Conor McHugh
• -- Simon Lloyd
• -- Darren Murray
• -- Anders Jensen
• -- Stephen Moran
• -- Brett Bowman
• -- Brian O'Reilly
• -- Shane Buttimer

• -- Dane Smith
• -- Keith O'Leary
• -- Mike Touchy Feeley
• -- Conor King
• -- Mick McCannon

The Changi Hilton

In the misty grey half-light of the dawn morning, the prisoners are herded downstairs into a cobblestone square surrounded by prison buildings. We are led across to the coffee shop, but there are no skinny lattes here. And Tally and I, we like our skinny lattes. Changi Prison, or as we like to call it, the Changi Hilton has been home to us for the past twenty minutes and our cell wall is covered in lines that Tally has scratched with a rock trying to track the time. I couldn't give a shite. I love it here. Real prison is my house, but that's another story. The sound of the guards dragging their truncheons along the cell bars fills the air, like erm guard's truncheons being dragged along cell bars all over a prison. That is our alarm clock now. We may as well get used to it. Who knows how long we will be here? Tally starts telling me he has a movie poster on his cell wall and behind it is a tunnel all the way to Geylang, funnily enough. He tells me it's 'Taxi Driver' and I tell him that's so contrived and obvious and he eventually admits it's actually 'The Goonies'. Rats are everywhere. I pick an earwig out of my ear and eat it, you never know when you're gonna get your next meal. It's bleak but somehow we know, well I know, we will get through it. Tally is fuckin' losing it. He keeps talking about some guy called Raver and muttering that it was 'all his idea'. The guy in the cell next to us keeps blowing a whistle and showing us a yellow card, he is familiar but we can't quite place him. One of the really mean guards, Alvin Tan, comes over and says in his best American accent 'it's your lucky day, lah' and we are led to a room where we are met by my solicitor John McGonagle of McGonagle, McGonagle and McGonagle PTE Ltd. Singapore's premier law-firm who tells us the nightmare is over. He turns to the guard and says there was no basis for the accusation. Tally falls down weeping. I stay cool. We are off the hook. Apparently attempted merger is not a crime after all. Alvin snaps a pencil in rage. We leave and there is a party bus outside with 'Toxic' by Britney Spears playing loudly inside. We open the door, smoke billows out and we are greeted by Raver's big goofball head who pulls us in and hands us a Tiger. I am wearing a brand new pair of shoes I stole off the warden. OK, I better stop this shit now. I think I have truly kicked the fuckin' arse out of this one..........! Friday night lights at Turf City, we get out of the party bus and straight to the action. A couple of good early chances for Brett, one a great point-blank stop from six yards by POB and the Lions have started well. Tally has changed into a spiffing black West Brom training top, the nightmare of prison firmly behind him and he is back to trying to steal our beers but Macca is guarding them with his life. Duplo has a newly grown goatee / tache combo and is wearing a shoelace around his hair like Claudio Caniggia's brother, Fuuh (one for the Dubs there!). Some more good play from both sides and a brilliant stop by Anders from a powerful header by big Dan low to his left kept it 0-0. But as is the way of these things with half time fast approaching the ball fell to Brian O'Reilly O'Reilly who took a touch outside the box and sent an absolute worldie past POB into the top corner. He has that in his locker, O'Reilly O'Reilly. As well as loads of pictures of Churchie's missus. Second half, Latini started well and had a lot of the ball but the Lions held firm with Pistol Petesy the out-ball for the Lions who soon got into our stride once again and created some more good chances. There was bars being struck all over the shop and all sorts of shenanigans goin' on and at 1-0 you are always reaching for the spare Calvins but the Lions held firm to seal a memorable victory. Got to love the super soaraway CosmoLeague lads! MOM for Latini goes to big Dan at the back, he used to play for Stockport County (not sure he's ever told you that, no?!!!!!!) and MOM for the Lions goes to Pistol Petesy O'Brien who was all over it. Could easily have gone to Brian O'Reilly O'Reilly for the goal but Petesy gets it this week. Honorable mention to the other Petesy O'Brien too. Football was the winner once again. Great start from the Lions and a wee break for the next week and then it's the Champignons Bibliothèque Fromages, wooft - the hits keep coming!

• Pete O'Brien GK
• Andrew Mollitt DF
• Jonathan Baker DF
• Jamie Townsend MD
• Rory Anderson ST
• Luke Townsend ST
• Jon Kelly --
• Ruairidh Winters --
• Daniel Gregson --
• Max Fouracre --
• Mark Raven --

• Lee Bradshaw DF
• Jonathan Lukito MD
• John O'Neill --
• Tom Beattie --
• Seung Ho ko --

FNL – Belter

Another epic episode of Friday Night Lights (FNL), but this time without the result 1TM Latini were hoping for. With 2 good performances from the opening two games there was some confidence going into what was always going to be a tough encounter with our friends at Gaelic Lions. It was no secret that the Lion's would be up for this one on the back of their impressive start to the season. A frantic paced, hard battle was on the cards. Gloves touch, bell rings & the ref gets us underway. As expected it was a frantic, high intensity and physical start with the Lions creating the better chances in the first 25 minutes. Some great saves from both goalkeepers ensued. 1TM Latini's were looking a huge threat from corners but ironically it was a Lions’ corner that handed them the lead just before half time. An out swinger cleared to the top of 18 yard box was met by Brian O’Reilly who was perfectly positioned to bring the ball down and send a half volley flying into the back of the net. An absolute belter and annoyingly a second goal of the season contender conceded in 2 games. 1TM Latini remained optimistic in the 2nd half. Fire was in the belly and we were proving the more dominant team. With a bit more composure in the final third the game could have been levelled. Both teams maintained their focus, intensity and introduced fresh legs in order to get that 2nd . Rory A hit the bar off a 1TM Latini set piece as time began to dry out. The Lions also had their chances to put the game to bed, but in the end it finished 1-0 to the Greens. Special mention to both goal keepers who made some top drawer saves. CFD claims MOM who set the tone for what was an enjoyable fierce battle with our friends. Thanks to Gaelics for a super competitive game. Passion, work rate and a real battle, meant the quality of football suffered, however it was a great spectacle for the Cosmo league and any neutrals. One sour note which should be noted was the font used for the Lion’s numbers. There is no place for it in amateur or indeed professional football. Big thanks to Team Anderson and Herriot for coming down to support 1TM Latini MOM: CFD Gaelic Lions MOM: Brian O’Reilly (Goal of the Season Contender ‘B’) Kit: Lego