Match Review: FC Nippon vs Gaelic Lions FC

02-Sep-2017 15:00

League // -
FC Nippon
0 - 3
Gaelic Lions FC
0
-
3
Referee - N/A // Assistans - N/A & N/A
FC Nippon

Report

Beggining of dark long Tunel

Referee was too strict about our physical contact. Our possession was more than Lions but the game score was one sided. Same old story from last year. Better possession, better football but lesser shots and goals. I hope this won’t be a begging of long dark tunnel as the last year. Game details to be added.

STATS

Yellow Cards
  • Satoshi KABAYAMA
  • Tetsu KAKIMOTO
  • Brian O'Reilly
  • Stephen Moran
Double Yellow Cards
Red Cards
Scoring
  • Rob Church
  • Petesy O'Brien
  • Ryan McEneaney
Assists
Man Of the Match
  • Yusuke KANEKO
  • Simon Lloyd
Man Of the Match (opponent)
  • -
  • Yuuki OKAMOTO
Gaelic Lions FC

Report

An actual match report about the match

It's never a nice feeling when you see someone peering through your window at 11:37pm on a Sunday night. Nor is it nice when the individual concerned proceeds to hand you a brown envelope marked 'CONFIDENTIAL' in red lettering. Initially I thought it was MJ delivering me Anders' bag of cash and Fiskefrikadellers a few week's early but no, I was being served with a summons from top Singaporean law firm McGonagle, McGonagle and McGonagle PTE Ltd. pertaining to a complaint from their client - The CosmoLeague (henceforth referred to as 'The Plaintiff') alleging a series of wrongdoings by me (henceforth referred to as 'The Defendant') and the legal remedy sought by the plaintiff being 'Consistent writing of absolute bollocks in the match reports, not pertaining to actual events'. After the scary 12 year old Singaporean lad had gone, I put down my straight gin, sat on my couch and after a good honest cry (highly recommended by the way) I sat and thought to myself about what had just happened. Were my crimes really that bad? Did I really deserve this? Do we, as consumers, really want another boring match report to add to the mix? One that ACTUALLY DESCRIBES THE GAME? Well, you may have won this round league overlords, but like any other Irishman, I will eventually win the war....... Everybody knows at this point about my drink problem. Personally, I don't think it's a problem, I think it's a solution. Anything but reality, eh? Not only in my family life but also in my private life (not the trips to Hong Kong and Bangkok, the football bit). Sometimes though, the demon drink must take a back seat and I must jump in to the phone booth, do a couple of twirls and come out wearing the Gaelic Lions magnificent spanking new kit and put myself down as a sub to make up the numbers, otherwise we would have only had total losers like Rhino on the bench. In these instances the booze must take a back seat, as I have a strict rule, no playing when pissed! I find this rule is in line with the values of the Gaelic Lions (we're not Hotspurs FFS). So I had to make do with sobriety and watch the game. It was long and I didn't get on in the end anyway so my sobriety was wasted. What a pain in the neck. So there you go. An actual match report. Here's hoping when this lawsuit goes away I can get back to the proper match reports where we can all just talk bollocks again, together, as friends.

@cosmoleaguesg